Worst day ever

Well, I do not really consider myself to be very funny. I consider myself to be a decent story teller, but definitely not through text. So when I think back there is not many things that I think I could translate into words and make everyone reading this laugh. So I decided to go with a story that might garner a giggle, but will also make you cringe about how crappy of a day I had back in third grade. Just to throw this out there, my best friends from back then still bust my chops over these course of events, but fortunately I have accepted what took place that day.

In third grade I would consider myself a pretty cool  guy. I was rocking some pretty sick vans, Hollister shirt, and my rolling back pack. Yeah I know tough day for me already with the rolling back pack, but man that thing was efficient you can not deny that. My mom drops me off at the front of school early because me and my friends always play wall ball out in the yard. I walked into the school yard and the first thing I did was step right in a pile of dog poop. If that was not bad enough I did not even realize and re stepped in the same exact pile when I was waiting for the ball to bounce off the wall. So it was 8 am in the morning and I already managed to step in poop not only once, but twice. 

I desperately looked for my mother among the crowd of parents running up and down the fence hoping she could take me home and I could change, but she was long gone. Soon I heard my teacher Ms. Carbonetti yelling "Zach, lets go it is 8:30 am". Not wanting to get in trouble for being late also, I start dead sprinting toward my group going into the school and I just when I thought this day could not get worse, I tripped and face planted in front of the entire school. My elbows were both bloody and my right knee the pants ripped decently enough to expose my entire knee. Man that was tough, the entire school laughed at me and they did not even know I had shit all over my shoes.

Oh do not worry, the day is not over I went to nurse and got patched up. Then I had to go back to class smelling a similar fashion to dog feces for the entire day. If smelling like dog crap the entire day was not enough then lets fast forward to lunch. 

My young self was just happy to make it to lunch without anyone noticing the smell to much and perhaps my attempt to wipe it off had worked. So I sat down for lunch, ripped open my lunchbox and pulled out my thermos that was filled with hot soup. I opened the thermos, looked back down, and by the time I looked up my best friend Vinnie had already tossed his lunch box and it was hurdling toward the soup. By the time I was able to react it was all but to late and the hot soup went all over my lap. 

It burned a bit, but I had to navigate my way out of the lunch room with soup stained pants. It was extremely embarrassing and at that point I was over trying to change this horrible day and just called my mom and told her I needed to come home. She needed to send someone to pick me up and get me out of this place, that I had shit on my shoes, ripped pants and they were soaked with the chicken noodle soup she sent me for lunch. My mom answered "Wow Zach, you should of went to the office and called me after you stepped in the poop, I would of came and got you then".